


first things first

by lolohannah



Series: walking the wire [1]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: F/M, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Performance-enhancing sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-04 12:18:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17304491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lolohannah/pseuds/lolohannah
Summary: “More heat, more chemistry,” she clarifies. “You are young, but you must have fire for tango. It is about feeling. Passion!” Ah, yes. Passion. Code for: Tessa you look like a virginal wallflower out there. Please get yourself thoroughly fucked for the sake of the art.//Tessa needs to sleep with Scott to be better at the tango (and definitely not for any other reason).





	first things first

**Author's Note:**

> Bless everyone who was so nice about the Wagtue fic! This probably only got finished because of you. Again, unbeta'd, purely because I'm still too anxious to find anyone to send my work to and I just wanna get it out there already. So I apologise that there are probably an abundance of errors in here. This fic was started back in April, and I've been teasing my Tumblr followers with it for literally half a year (so it's almost certainly gonna be a let down hahaha).
> 
> The title comes from 'Believer' by Imagine Dragons.

“It needs to be more.”

Tessa grimaces, unable to steel herself quickly enough to disguise her reaction. It’s a small mercy that she hasn’t conceded to the enormous sigh that’s been building in her chest all morning as Marina repeats the same vague criticisms over and over. Tessa knows it’s not just annoying her, it’s starting to get to Scott too.

“More what?” he asks, the beginnings of a scowl forming on his young brow.

“More connected,” Marina clarifies as she gesticulates wildly between them. “You must show progress from Adiós Nonino. You are grown now, yes?”

“Yes,” Tessa answers curtly. As Marina’s words register, the tension rises in her shoulders. Something ugly twists in her gut as a thought emerges like an invisible light bulb above her head. She can almost hear the comical ‘Ding! as realization hits. Tessa grabs her water bottle and takes a sip to stem the words that crave to spill from her lips. Her eyes flick over to Scott and he stares back at her quizzically, the combination of Marina’s words and her own irate expression the source of his confusion. She gives him a subtle eye-roll in response.

“What do we need to do, Marina?” Scott asks sweetly, always eager to charm their coach into giving him the answer rather than figuring it out for himself. With Marina’s utterance of the word ‘connected’, Tessa had known _exactly_ what she was implying.

“More heat, more chemistry,” she clarifies. “You are young, but you must have _fire_ for tango. It is about feeling. Passion!” Ah, yes. _Passion_. Code for: _Tessa you look like a virginal wallflower out there. Please get yourself thoroughly fucked for the sake of the art._

Scott’s head turns towards her, his mouth slightly agape as if to say ‘ _How are we supposed to achieve that?_ ’ and Tessa screws the cap back on her water bottle and sends him a tight smile. The goosebumps rising on her forearms have nothing to do with the cold of the rink.

 

-

 

“You want me to what?!” Scott almost shouts before he looks around sheepishly to see if anyone is in ear-shot. The place is blissfully empty, however. Tessa wasn’t about to have this conversation with the rumour mill in close proximity. The last thing she wants is for this to become Arctic Edge gossip.

“I want you to have sex with me.” The words come out far more sure than her heart feels as it stutters against her ribcage. Her nerves force her to pull the plastic wrapping off her water bottle just because she needs something to do with her hands— wringing them against each other would signal to Scott her deep-rooted insecurities.

He shakes his head, mouth opening and closing like a goldfish and Tessa would laugh at the picture he makes if she didn’t feel like she was a minute away from throwing up. “I’m not understanding,” he says, leaning forward and placing his elbows on the table. Tessa gets momentarily distracted as her eyes linger on his forearms, the muscles contracting as he presses his hands together in front of his mouth. There’s still a faint sheen of sweat glistening along his biceps, the product of training during the hot summer months. She thinks about what those arms would feel like wrapped around her away from the rink, solid and strong and holding her body against his with considerably less clothing than they’re used to. She imagines sweat forming for an entirely different reason— the heat from their intertwined bodies writhing against one another, taking and taking and _taking_ until there’s nothing left to give.

It becomes vital that she avoids his gaze lest he is able to read her indecent thoughts. “You heard Marina. We’re missing that maturity. The ‘ _connection’_ we need for a tango.” If there’s venom behind her words they’re most definitely directed at their coach, not at him. Her mouth starts to feel dry but she can’t take another sip of water without Scott finding her eyes so she pushes onwards, “This seems like the best way for us to achieve that.”

He scoffs. He actually scoffs at her. It’s one of the things she hates about him most— the way he can make her feel small with a simple outburst. It’s always a startling reminder that she’s younger than him, quieter than him, not as ‘gifted’ as him. Suzanne had almost trained him out of it but when he’s particularly irate he slips back into bad habits, and she slips back into wanting to trip him up in practice, toe pick catching his blade causing him to flail in order to steady himself. It’s a fantasy she’s engaged in probably too many times, but it makes her feel better nonetheless. Tessa is not a naive little girl. She knows what she’s doing. Every action is carefully thought through, pros and cons listed either in her mind or literally written down in her notebooks.

“How did you get _there_?” Scott asks indignantly as if she’s concluded what ‘X’ is in a difficult algebraic equation and he wants a step-by-step process of how she solved it.

“I know how to interpret Marina, Scott.” The words finally give her back the edge she so desperately needs to lift her gaze from the table. “I know what she’s getting at. I’m the one lacking ‘ _fire_ ’, as she so eloquently put it.”

“That’s not…” Scott frowns and pauses for a moment. “Is that really what she meant?”

Tessa can feel her stomach churning and so she barrels forward as quickly as she can. Throw caution to the wind. Rip the band-aid off. “So tomorrow night good for you?” The nonchalance she possesses when organizing her first time would make her laugh if she was watching this on some trashy teen drama and not hearing the words fall out of her own mouth.

“What?”

She rises to her feet and moves across to his side of the table, wrapping her hand around his shoulder for balance she doesn’t really need as she stretches her hamstring out. The radiating heat from his body is more obvious to her now than it usually is. Everything is heightened, more visceral. It’s as if she’s seeing colours through a kaleidoscope for the first time, a myriad of irregular combinations and patterns that spark her imagination. “Do. You. Have. Plans. Tomorrow. Night?” she repeats, giving his shoulder a squeeze to punctuate the end of her question.

He looks up at her through his eyelashes with wide hazel eyes and audibly gulps. “No, but—“

“Then tomorrow it is.” Tessa nods, reaching for her bag and exiting the building as quickly but calmly as she can. Every measured step she takes away from the rink makes the reality of the situation more palpable until she has no choice but to heave into the trashcan in the parking lot, the anxiety too much for her body to handle. If she turns her phone off before she drives away it’s only because she doesn’t want to be distracted. It has nothing to do with avoiding the dozens of impending calls from her lifelong skating partner.

 

-

 

After a dinner she barely has the appetite for, Tessa retreats to her bedroom knowing what she has to do. Putting it off can’t wait any longer. She takes a deep breath before finally pushing the button to call Scott, the text she sent that simply said ‘Later’ no longer sufficing.

“Finally, T,” Scott grumbles upon answering.

“What?” she replies coolly, not a trace of the life-altering decision she made mere hours ago entering her flippant tone.

“What do you mean ‘what’? We have to talk about this. You can’t just drop a bomb like that on me and not even give me the chance to respond.” Scott pauses, and when he speaks again it’s softer and carries enough weight to crush her, “I didn’t even agree.” And Tessa’s whole body goes cold, ice running through her veins.

“Do you…” She swallows painfully, trying to stave off the tears threatening to pool in the corners of her eyes. “Do you not want to?” She thinks must really be lacking in sexual allure if an 18-year-old boy rife with hormones who spends his days pressed against her is turning down the offer of sex. She’s watched him pick up girls at the rink, seen the shit-eating grin on his face the morning after an occasional night out, heard other girls in the changing rooms comparing notes.

 

_“Did you go out with Scott the other night?” one would ask._

_“Not so much go out as…”_

_A giggle. “Stayed in?”_

_“Shh.” And Tessa has to give her credit, at least she attempted to be discreet._

_“Oh, come on. Details. Did he do that thing where…?” Thing? Scott has a particular ‘thing’ that he’s known for? Tessa’s sure there was probably some kind of indication_ _(a hand gesture or a raise of eyebrows) to_ _accompany that sentence but she couldn’t see it from where she was._

_Tessa had glanced beside her to find Meryl studying her with an arched eyebrow. She looked down to keep her composure. Meryl’s scrutiny was always unsettling, even more so than the salacious gossip her ears were burning from._

_After the girls had left, still giggling to themselves about Scott’s...prowess, Meryl said wryly, “You should stake your claim.”_

_“What?” It was time for her own eyebrows to rise. “I don’t own him, Meryl.”_

_Her competitor smirked, a knowing glint in her eye. “You do in a way.  I make sure they know who Charlie’s priority is.”_

_“But you’re not…?” Together. “Marina and Igor don’t allow it.” She knows that rule all too well. Horror stories drilled into every team of how romantic relationships between partners always end in disaster. That successes are the exception, not the norm. That it’s a distraction from good technical skills. That they all have too much talent to go down in flames for the sake of silly things like ‘feelings’._

_Meryl shook her head, thinly veiled repulsion flitting over her face at the prospect. “No, we’re not like that. We’re not like you and Scott.” And Tessa caught a glimpse of that knowing smile on the corner of her competitor’s lips. “It’s about who he shares his pain and his joy and his goals and his dreams with. They can’t compare to what we have for the long term. He’s yours, Tessa. They need to know that.”_

_And Meryl had left before she could challenge the ‘we’re not like you and Scott’ comment. But her words had rung in Tessa’s head for months._

 

Scott’s sigh in her ear brings her back to the present and she can envision him running his hand through his hair in agitation. “That’s not what I said.”

Tessa runs her nails back and forth against the denim of her jeans, somewhat comforted by the scraping sound as she waits for Scott to continue. If she stares at the fabric long enough, her mind goes quiet, worries slowly ebbing away like the tide washing out. Whatever he says next is going to be make or break and Tessa’s not sure she’s ready for the final nail in that coffin. She doesn’t want to have to face Scott on the ice every day with the knowledge that he’d be up for sleeping with anyone _but_ her.

“You know I think you’re...beautiful.” There’s a breathlessness to the way he says it that makes the pace of her heart pick up speed. He talks as though she’s the most picturesque sunset shining across a lake, oranges and yellows and pinks merging together and reflecting on the rippling water. He makes her _feel_ beautiful. She can’t help the soft smile that takes over from the thin-lipped worry of before, a wave emerging from the water and crashing against the shore, spraying her skin and leaving her feeling reinvigorated instead of vandalized. “But…” he begins, “...you deserve more than this, T. Your first time shouldn’t be something on a checklist to make you a better performer on the ice. It should be because you really want it.”

She sighs a little as she lies down on her bed, curling up against her pillow. If that’s all he’s worried about, she can ease his concerns. It’s a few moments before she can find the courage to say what she needs to. _Be brave_ , a voice that sounds like Jordan says in her head.

“It’s not like I haven’t thought about it,” Tessa whispers as though it’s a secret. She imagines it would feel similar to cock a loaded gun.

Silence drags out for a little while, each of them standing on the cliff's edge waiting for the other to jump. “In the abstract sense or...with me?” Scott asks, curiosity audible as clear as day. He’s like a puppy recognizing his name and sitting up to attention, tail-wagging excitedly.

Tessa bites down on the tender flesh of her bottom lip and proceeds to run her tongue across the inflamed skin, wishing it were someone else’s touch soothing it instead. “Both.” Sometimes it’s David Beckham or a hot guy she spots around Canton, sometimes he’s just this faceless non-specific entity, but more often than not it’s Scott. Scott with his intense warm eyes and his cheeky smile. Scott’s strong hands that seem to know her body better than she does herself. Scott’s toned ass that her eyes have been drawn to longer than she’d care to admit whenever he skates away from her.

“That’s—“ Scott’s voice sounds strained across the line and a flame flickers inside her like a candle when it becomes ferocious and wild. The heat makes her mind hazy. “Tessa.” He says her name like a prayer, as though she’s something sacred that should be cherished.

“Have you thought about it?” Her fingers clench tightly around her phone until they start to hurt, her knuckles turning white.

There’s a pause. And then she hears him swallows loudly. “Too much.”

Tessa inhales, warmth coursing through her organs. “Really?”

“Yeah, T. Of course. How could I not?”

“Tell me...something.” Tessa rests her hand on top of her abdomen, her insides positively burning with anticipation. She needs to hear more of what he’s thought about, what he wants, what they could be doing this time tomorrow.

“‘Something’,” he teases facetiously.

She rolls her eyes in exasperation. “Scott.”

He’s quiet for a while and then takes a deep breath. “I— I would think about licking across your collarbone and burying my face in your neck. Tasting your skin and scraping my teeth against you and memorizing the sounds you’d make. I’d think about the way your hips moved during _Do You Only Wanna Dance_ and wondered if they’d twist down on top of me the same way. Do you remember how you were pressed back against me during that one move? I couldn’t get it out of my head all season. Your tight little ass rubbing against me like that. I’d bury my face in my pillow and picture you beside me in bed. Came so many times with your name on my lips, T.”

Tessa’s ears are ringing as his words sink in, images flooding her mind of possibilities. She wonders how many more fantasies are knocking around in his head and how she can get him to tell her— or better yet, show her. “Oh god.”

Scott groans pitifully. “Don’t bring him into this.”

She laughs. “You’ve slept with girls before, Scott. What is it about thinking about doing it with me that’s so bad?” She won’t let him pick and choose what’s sinful to him. He’s not saving himself for marriage. Neither is she. He may have gone to church regularly with his family, but he’s no paragon of virtue. _At least not yet,_ she thinks, trying not to descend into uncontrollable giggles.

“You know, I uh...maybe you didn’t know, but I was told to take care of you when we left for Kitchener. I was told to look out for you. And my brothers literally threatened to castrate me if I started thinking with my dick when it came to you.” He laughs awkwardly. “That’s not something a fifteen-year-old forgets.”

Tessa twirls a few strands of hair around her finger and tugs, letting it fall away before picking up another chunk. “I knew. Or suspected, at least.” She sighs. “But Scott, you’re not fifteen anymore. And I’m not thirteen.” She runs her whole hand through her hair, brushing it back from her forehead. “You don’t have to take care of me anymore.”

“I’m always gonna take care of you,” he protests, voice like a warm embrace.

 _Then take care of me in other ways_. Tessa shakes her head as her heart clenches both lovingly and painfully. “You know...it’s only natural to have those kind of...thoughts.”

Scott huffs sarcastically. “Is it natural to imagine what it would be like to look down and see your green eyes wide and staring back at me?” he asks rhetorically. Then quieter, darker, “While your mouth is wrapped around me?”

Tessa’s eyes widen. She thinks maybe the appropriate reaction should be apprehension or even disgust, but all she feels is nervous excitement. “Scott.”

“To wonder what you look and sound like when you come?”

“ _Scott_ ,” she repeats with a groan. Her eyes close and her brow furrows, fingers itching to slip beneath the waistband of her jeans. There is just her body and Scott’s voice. Nothing else seems to exist.

“Yeah?”

“I may have…” A small laugh bubbles up from her chest and spills from her lips. “I think I proposed this in the wrong way?”  She presses her hand to her forehead, heat rolling off of her in waves. There shouldn’t be this much sexual tension when they’re not even in the same place should there? But then they’ve never talked quite like this before. The tangible possibility of more hanging in the air.

“Maybe, yeah.” He sounds warm and inviting and Tessa can’t help but wonder how that would feel right beside her ear as he hovers above her. She wants that. She wants _him_.

“Look, I want this. It’s…” She lays a hand over her heart and can feel it hammering hard as if it knows exactly what they’re talking about. “It’s scary but I think it might be less scary with you. I trust you, Scott.” _More than anyone_ , she leaves unsaid.

“I’m not sure I should be trusted with this much responsibility,” he replies, self-deprecatingly. “I don’t know if I could take it if we mess things up. If _I_ mess things up.” They haven’t even touched the Marina issue. How they’ll get chewed out if their coaches discover they’re doing this. But Marina can’t have it both ways. Either she wants her to be better at the tango or she doesn’t. It gives Tessa a certain kind of satisfaction to be taking her direction by breaking the rules.

But Tessa knows that’s not really what Scott means. He doesn’t want to mess _them_ up. He doesn’t want it to be weird or awkward and ruin their relationship with each other. They’ve finally gotten to a place where they work efficiently together. They haven’t bickered in so long. They learned to channel all of their negative emotions into work, into getting better, into being that team that goes to Vancouver and comes home with a Gold medal. They’re moving up to senior full-time. If they crash and burn now, like so many other partnerships do when they transition from the junior world, they’ll both break beyond repair. Is sex worth the risk? _Of course not,_ a voice inside replies. But she’ll hate herself if it doesn’t happen. She’ll always be curious, wondering what it’s like with him. Wanting him and not ever having him sounds so much worse than a little awkwardness that they can deal with and get over.

“We can do this. You know me. And I know you. I could—” Her thoughts are running ahead and out of her mouth before she can stop them in time.

“You could what?”

Tessa weighs the options in her mind. She could tell him what she knows, clueing him into the notion that she pays far too much attention to him. Or she could brush it off and try and move the conversation in a different direction. But she knows Scott won’t take the bait. He’s intrigued now. He’ll pester her constantly until she breaks. “I could tell. When you…” she makes a half-hearted gesture with her hand before realizing he can’t see her. “I could _tell_.”

Scott doesn’t respond at first and as the silence drags on Tessa has to stop herself from laughing, hand coming up to cover her mouth.

“You’re lying.” He sounds so aghast and accusatory that it finally breaks her, releasing a raucous cackle and shaking her head.

“No, really. I could,” she adds between giggles.

“Okay, Little Miss Sex-Detective. When?”

“December 2004. Sometime after the Grand Prix Final.” She doesn’t remember the date exactly. She doesn’t know if it was with one of the other skaters at the GPF or someone at the rink or someone back in Ilderton. But she remembers everything else. Anyone looking closely enough would’ve been able to see the change in him by the time Nationals came around. He showed up to practice reinvigorated, a bounce in his step and assurance to his movements. Scott was owning his body in a way that wasn’t quite there before and Tessa, at fifteen, was fascinated, curious and jealous (of his surety and of the girls he was taking to bed).

“That’s actually scary, y'know?”

She rolls her eyes good-naturedly. “I was almost surprised it took you so long.”

“Yeah, well, it wasn’t that easy to get laid when I looked like I was twelve,” he jests.

“As opposed to now when you just _sound_ like you’re twelve,” she teases. His voice still cracks when he’s nervous and under pressure, lilting high and awkward and making him appear far younger than his passport reports. He still gets stopped by border patrol sometimes because they think he’s procured a fake.

“Ouch.” He laughs. “ _How_ did you know?”

Tessa sighs as she lets the memories come flooding back. “You touched me differently after that. Your hands became more firm on my skin like…” her eyes close involuntarily as she remembers the way she felt when he grabbed her thighs or held onto her waist, her breathing becoming more shallow.

“Like?” he muses on an exhale.

“Like I wasn't a prop for you to throw around and lift. It was as if you wanted to show the audience that you had me. That I was yours.” Tessa feels a calmness settle over her body for a moment before she tenses. She’s giving away too much of herself. He’s going to know this isn’t just sex to her.

Scott hums back at her thoughtfully. “I thought about you. Even if I knew I shouldn’t. If I pushed you too far…”

“Never. No, you didn’t. I...loved it. Do love it. You’re so passionate out there.”

After that December, the change in Scott’s confidence was palpable, and she still felt like she was grappling with everything. Put her in the studio and she could feel the music, feel the choreography, but put her out on the ice and she felt like she was struggling to keep up. Not just speed but performance-wise. He was improving so much faster than he even realized and Tessa still felt like she should be in Kitchener with Suzanne. She didn’t feel ready. She wants to be ready for every challenge, to rise above their competitors, to be brilliant. She needs to glide out into an arena and feel like every eye is on her and enraptured, not scrutinizing. She needs to feel the power coursing through her veins when the audience forget where they are in favour of the story they’re telling. She needs to be out there with the knowledge that one person, at the very least, can’t stop thinking about her for those three or four minutes. It has to start with Scott.

“You know what you want,” Scott realizes. Tessa grins, because yes, she’s always had this unfathomable ability to know in her gut when a decision she makes is right. At nine when she turned down the National Ballet, at thirteen when they moved to Kitchener, at fifteen when they came to Canton. She’s always less comfortable when it comes to matters of the heart but if she arranges this as something that will help her _career_ , that’s how it all pieces together in her head.

Tessa smirks. “I do. It enhanced your performance. It will make mine better too. It will make us better together. I’m sure of it."

“I know you are. You wouldn’t suggest it otherwise. But it’s still weird hearing you talk so casually about it. Like you’re signing up for a new yoga class or something.”

“Well, those classes might just come to some use.” Her eyes widen as the innuendo slips from her mouth without forethought. _Too much_?

He makes a strangled noise briefly in the back of his throat and then a puff of air releases from his lungs. “Okay, so we’re doing this.”

Tessa grins. _Not too much_. “We’re doing this.”

“I’ll get the place to myself tomorrow night. I’m going to do this right, T. It’s not going to be some quiet, rushed thing. I’m not going to have you worried about someone finding out the whole time.” She blushes at the images that are conceived by those words. He’s taking this so seriously. It _matters_ to him.

“Okay.” Truthfully though, she thinks she’d be fine with whatever way he wanted to do it. There’s something hot about his consideration, but the thought of him covering her mouth so she doesn’t make too much noise also sends a sharp buzz through her veins.

“I’m going to make you come.” Her eyebrows rise and Tessa has to wiggle her toes just to keep the feeling in them. A wrinkle in her bedspread catches her attention and she runs her toes against it over and over methodically.

Tessa smirks, feeling the comment bubble up before she can even think about stopping it. “Well, it’s always nice to set yourself goals.” Her tongue twists in her mouth at the jab, rubbing against the smooth skin of her cheek.

Scott laughs loudly. “You don’t think I can do it, Virtch?”

She beams at the nickname. Flirting isn’t exactly rare for them, but this is more. This is foreplay. There’s intention here. “I’m just saying, it’s my first time. It’s not supposed to be great, is it?”

Scott makes a noise of protest in the back of his throat. “I’m gonna try my damnedest to make it good for you.” He turns more serious. “And if at any point you want to stop, say so, okay?”

And really, how did she find a partner who’s so cocky but so compassionate? She really never stood a chance. “Promise.”

Tessa can’t seem to settle for hours after that conversation, excited nervous energy flowing through her. When she finally succumbs to sleep, her dreams are filled with brown hair, hazel eyes and firm hands. A warm sun beating down on their uncovered skin and not a care in the world.

 

-

 

“It is getting better,” Marina says with some surprise. “But timing still off.”

Scott sends a surreptitious wink her way and Tessa tries not to blush. He’s barely been able to keep his hands off her all day and it’s driving her crazy. Every touch is like a vow of more to come, setting her nerves alight and stealing the breath from her lungs. Tessa’s faltered in her steps more than she’d like but it’s still early in the season and she can get away with it.

“Run it through again?” Scott asks and she nods.

They begin the routine but as they enter into their first spin Scott leans closer towards her than he usually does, so close his lips are almost pressed against her neck. She inhales sharply and when her hand brushes the back of his head, her fingers instinctively clench, tugging on his hair. Scott groans softly and as Tessa slides her hand down his chest, she ends up lingering half a second longer than the routine calls for. This, in turn, sends the timing for her leg extension off and their next move becomes stuttered and awkward.

Marina claps her hands. “Again!”

“Focus, T,” Scott teases with a wry smirk, his eyes glinting as they lock with hers.

“I’ve created a monster,” she mutters under her breath and he grins back at her as they take their places for the start of the music once again.

It gets even worse when they have ballet class. They’re racking up more hours this season because _Valse Triste_ demands such precision in its elegance and grace. They have to move with ease, every element looking both complex and effortless. Usually, Tessa would stand at the side of the room, directly alongside the full-length mirror so she can analyze her posture, but today she positions herself in the centre. There’s something about the way that every eye will catch a glimpse of her when they check themselves out in the mirror that makes her feel powerful, like the starting pose of their programs.

Scott stands on the other side of the barre, and she’s very aware of his presence but she doesn’t give him the satisfaction of her attention. If he’s going to distract her during practice, two can play at that game. It’s after the third time that the teacher calls him out for his lack of focus that Tessa mutters, ‘Pay attention,” under her breath.

He huffs out an agitated breath, “You’re making that extremely difficult.”

“I’m not doing anything,” she replies innocently, angling her body slightly towards him before she extends her leg to the side. She watches out of the corner of her eye as his gaze runs down her body. It feels like a burning trail of hot wax wherever his focus lands. She lifts her leg high above her head and hears the small intake of breath from the boy beside her. Tessa has to work extremely hard not to smirk and give the game away.

“Please stop,” he says in a strained whisper, voice cracking slightly.

Tessa hums and makes him think she’s going to concede, but as she lowers her leg from alongside her head she slowly sinks into the splits and hears Scott’s palm crash into the barre with a loud thud.

“Cruel.”

“I don’t know what you’re insinuating. I have to practice regularly for the move in this routine. The last thing I need is to go crashing into the ice.” Tessa bounces in the position subtlety under the guise of keeping her muscles and joints stretched and supple.

“I can’t finish this class if you keep doing this,” he adds, an edge of irritation lining his tone.

“Tit for tat,” she bites back sharply.

“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” He chuckles lowly, amusement creeping back into his eyes.

As she gets back up with her hand on the barre his own fingers slide up alongside hers subtlety so as not to draw attention. He’s so warm, so enticing, so present. It sends an electric thrum through her. Scott’s index finger lightly cascades down her fingers, across her knuckles, over the back of her hand and Tessa’s eyes flutter closed for a second.

“Tonight’s gonna be the best night of my life,” he declares sincerely and then she feels his forehead pressing against her own. Butterflies go wild in her gut, swirling around with such excitement that she almost feels like she’s going to throw up. In a very different way to the similar symptoms of yesterday afternoon.

Tessa shifts slightly and rubs her nose against his. “You know what they say about expectations.”

“What’s that?”

“Reality never lives up to them.”

“The reality will be better _because_ it’s real. I have no expectations, just so you know.” He leans back but puts both of his hands over hers where they rest on the barre now. “You could never disappoint me, Tutu.”

There’s a barely concealed smile on her face the rest of their working day.

 

-

 

She parks up outside Scott’s place at exactly 6:55 pm. Tessa prides herself on never being late for anything, unlike her tardy partner who just today arrived almost ten minutes late for ballet class. She pulls down the concealed mirror and checks her makeup, swiping at the edges of her lips to make sure she doesn’t look clownish. It’s an understated effort. She didn’t have long between the end of training and the time Scott told her to show up. The lingerie she’s had stuffed in the back of her drawer for the past six months is finally being put to use, covered by a thin top that clings to her body and shows off some of her midriff as well as her piercing. She’s making the most of the Michigan summer before the inevitable cold sets in. Tessa rubs her palms against the denim of her tight jean shorts that hit her lower-thigh, hoping she made the right choice. She went back and forth about whether to wear a dress, wondering if it would look like she was trying too hard.

Tessa sees the numbers on her dashboard switch to 6:59 and hurries out of the vehicle before she can second guess herself any further. The clothes don’t matter. The makeup doesn’t matter. In all likeliness, Scott won’t notice the tiny, insignificant details that she’s been fretting over. Why would he when he already knows he’s getting laid?

She raps her knuckles against the door and Tessa can hear him shuffling around inside before it opens and she’s greeted with a noticeably nervous smile. “Punctual as ever!” he enthuses, eyes bright as he waves her inside. Her body inadvertently brushes against his as she enters and Scott’s arm instinctively wraps around her waist, his hand coming to rest on her bare skin. Even though he’s touched her literally thousands of times before, this feels different. New and exciting and terrifying. His touch has a _purpose_. He rests his forehead against the side of her head and they breathe together for a moment, hearts racing and blood pumping like the horny teenagers they are.

“Not yet.” He’s so quiet she thinks she almost imagines the words. A shiver runs through her upper body and Scott’s hand tightens around her waist for a second before he releases her, pressing a chaste kiss to her cheek. “Pizza is on the way. I was thinking we’d watch a movie.”

Tessa quirks an interrogative eyebrow. “You don’t even like pizza. Not unless you’re getting wasted on cheap beer.”

Amusement bounces at the corners of his lips as he rolls his eyes and shrugs non-committedly. “Yeah, but you do.”

And she blushes. She actually blushes because this— this stupidly charming sweet boy— is making sacrifices for her own enjoyment. Because he wants to make this “good for her”.

Tessa moves to sit down on Scott’s couch, and suddenly it all feels so very real. They’re alone. They have...plans. She’s going to walk out of Scott’s apartment no longer a virgin. Despite all her convincing reasons, she keeps wondering if her libido is getting in the way of logical thought processes. What if she doesn’t like it? What if she likes it _too much_?

“Stop thinking so hard,” Scott nudges, breaking her out of her thoughts. His hands land on her shoulders and start massaging with a solid gentleness. Tessa hums and relaxes back into the couch, letting Scott manipulate her muscles to his liking. “Relax, T. It’s just me,” he whispers. His hands trail up to her neck, fingers pressing into the knots from long hours of training and pent-up stress. What makes it better is that she knows he’s not doing it to get in her pants— that’s already happening— his purpose is solely to make her comfortable. Her breathing pattern slows and deepens as she unwinds under his touch. When his fingers press into the tender skin behind her ear she gets a little lightheaded, eyes fluttering closed from the dull pleasure. Tessa is grateful and appreciative of the way he already knows her body so well. Scott Moir isn’t _just_ anything. He’s _everything_.

They’re broken from their spell by another knock at the door. Scott mutters about it being dinner and leaves her embedded in the couch cushions feeling as pliable as play-doh.

It’s a familiar picture, facing each other from opposite ends of the couch. Her legs folded in front of her as she nibbles the calorific meal that any coach would berate their team for enjoying. Scott has always been a big proponent of everything in moderation, especially this early in the season. It’s flimsy reasoning, and she knows he actually started making a point about enjoying a treat every now and then when Marina and Igor started coming down on her harder about her weight. When it gets her chocolate, Tessa can’t exactly find it in herself to argue with him. She still can’t forgo dabbing the grease off of the slices with a napkin though, even if Scott huffs at her quietly as she does it. She’s already breaking so many of Marina’s rules, she doesn’t need any extra guilt hanging over her head.

He wouldn’t let her pick the movie, insisting on _The Notebook_ leaving Tessa rolling her eyes good-naturedly at him.

“I’ve never seen it.”

“It’s been out for two years!” he shouts, aghast. “They should revoke your teenage girl card or something.” Scott points at her indignantly with his pizza crust. She’s pretty sure she’s the only one who knows what a sucker Scott is for romantic movies. That he probably tells his friends the only reason he has them is for situations exactly like this one, to put girls in the right mood before he lays the moves on them. She loves a good romantic movie of course, but her interests have always lied in more of the Old Hollywood variety. Give her an Audrey Hepburn or Fred and Ginger classic and she’ll stare enraptured at the screen, sighing wistfully at the artistic beauty for hours until her feet are numb and itching to get up and dance.

The half-eaten food is discarded and their bodies naturally fall closer together while the movie begins. Scott spoons her, arm wrapped around her waist and leg tangled between her own as they watch the love story begin to unfold. When Noah asks Allie to dance with him in the street Tessa suddenly becomes very aware of her body, her stomach muscles contracting under Scott’s warm hand. He buries his head in her neck and she swears she can feel his smile against her skin. It’s as if he’s saying ‘ _I would dance with you anywhere_ ’.

As Allie plays the piano and Noah starts kissing her, Scott’s nose nudges meaningfully against the tender spot behind her ear, his breath warm as it puffs against her neck. The hand he placed on her abdomen leaves a burning trail as it inches under the material of her top. Involuntarily, Tessa’s eyelids flutter shut as she becomes overwhelmed with Scott at every point of contact, wherever he touches feels like burning hot lava— a beautiful disaster wrecking everything in its path.

The young woman on the screen starts to babble and panic as her boyfriend begins to touch her more intimately and Tessa refocuses her attention on the movie, the muscles of her back beginning to tense up.

“It doesn’t have to be like that,” Scott urges before she can sink further into a pool of doubt. “It’s just you and me, T.” Something crackles within her and she places her hand over his before untangling herself from him. She hears him make a small noise of protest as she leaves the safety of his arms and she wants to assure him she’ll be back but the words get stuck somewhere between her brain and her mouth. Tessa grabs the remote, making a snap decision to pause the movie, a still image of Rachel McAdams resting her chin against Ryan Gosling’s shoulder stuck on the screen. She can’t bear the distractions anymore, she doesn’t need a romantic movie to ‘put her in the mood’. She wants reality. Or as close to it as she can get.

When she turns around, hand on her hip and determination in her eyes, she’s met with the image of Scott sitting on the couch with a degree of focus she’s only ever seen from him on the ice. Tessa closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. In, two, three, four, five. Out, two, three, four, five. And again.

“We don’t have to do this,” he says. It’s earnest. Caring. As if the worst thing that could ever happen to him is her going through with this and regretting it.

But she won’t. Not in the way he thinks.

As she opens her eyes, her hand comes up to push her hair back from her face. It feels like too much fuss. Too many details. It just has to be simple. Tessa steels her nerves, steps towards him and presses a finger to his lips in a shushing motion. He doesn’t need to give her an out. She doesn’t want it. Her legs slip either side of his body to straddle him, gracefully sitting in his lap as her knees sink into the soft but worn cushions of his couch. His hands instinctively settle on her hips with just enough pressure to make her feel secure.

The way Scott looks up into her eyes is like how he looks at her before a good skate. Simultaneously nervous and sure, wonder and trepidation, present and looking ahead.

“I’m here,” she whispers, voice breathy and fragile even to her own ears. You could hear a pin drop. Or, more aptly, a belt buckle as it tumbles to the ground. “I’m here.”

A soft, tender smile breaks out across his face like sunlight making its way out from behind a cloud. It’s beautiful. _He’s_ beautiful. It’s the way he looks like he’d rather be here than anywhere else in the world— like the outside doesn’t even exist— that makes her sure this is right.

Tessa brings a hand up to his crown, lightly brushing her fingertips across his hairline. “Can I kiss you?” she asks. It feels necessary to seek permission as if it’s the signature on a binding contract. The step that will lock this in as a pivotal night in her life. Kissing Scott is something she’s thought about since the moment they became ‘boyfriend and girlfriend’ all those years ago. It's changed shape— morphed— from chaste to romantic to heated in her fantasies. It’s just as big as having sex with him but she’s overlooked it in the past couple of days. She’s forgotten about the opening act in her narrowed focus on the main show.

Scott’s hand moves up to wrap around her jaw. God, she never realized how big his hands were before. How much of her skin they can cover. How small she feels under his attention. He could break her and tear her apart with those hands but instead, he relinquishes the power to her. “Do whatever you want to,” Scott tells her, his eyes dropping to stare at her lips, the very definition of intense lust burning within them and making them seem darker than usual.

She’s at the top of the climb right before the roller coaster falls. Heart hammering in her chest because she knows the descent will change her. It will open up something inside her that will either flourish like a blossoming flower or wind thorns around her so tightly she’ll be unable to do anything without getting pricked.

Tessa moves her hand to the back of his head and sinks forward at the same time that she pulls him towards her. It’s the culmination of a decade of pent-up feelings. The first press of their lips is soft. Barely anything. Like the flutter of a butterflies wings or a snowflake landing on your skin. Just like the kiss on her cheek he gave her when he was ten and she was eight.

Scott’s lips press harder, more insistently, and for a moment Tessa thinks that she might drown in the passion. Even though she only proposed this idea yesterday it seems that they’ve been waiting all their lives to do this. Tessa’s fist clenches in his shirt when he deepens the kiss, tilting her head so he can achieve the desired angle. The way it feels to be led, to be guided by him, sets something alight in her gut, seeping into all of her extremities with a tingling spark.

She breaks away briefly with a gasp, hands moving to his shoulders to ground herself. Tessa has kissed boys before. Awkward spin-the-bottles and even more awkward first dates. But she’s never had this. She’s never felt someone pour every fibre of themselves into a kiss before. Scott’s unbridled passion probably shouldn’t still be a shock to her but she’s never seen it like this off the ice— never felt it real and unabashed without the guise of performance.

His hands trail up and down her back comfortingly as the sound of their heavy breathing seems to echo in the quiet room. The pressure of his touch propels her into a slight rocking motion that becomes suspiciously erotic. It causes Scott to release a breath so harsh that Tessa almost laughs. And then he’s placing kisses along her chest and collarbone and neck and laughter is suddenly the last thing on her mind.

“Come back here,” she whispers, tugging him up by the jaw so she can slant her lips over his again. Scott’s so obliging, following every signal her body sends him before she even knows what she means. He licks against her bottom lip and Tessa opens under the attention, and then his tongue is in her mouth, tracing the inside of her lip and melding with her own tongue like he’s drinking her in. He moans softly in the back of his throat as though he’s been wandering the desert for hours and she’s his first sip of cool water. It’s relief and satisfaction and a quest for more, more, _more_.

He tastes like naive beginnings and doomed heartache.

Tessa doesn’t want to pull away but she’s scorching and she can’t get her lungs under control.

“Tessa,” he murmurs, voice thick and gravelly. Heat courses through her body right down her core. Scott slides his hands down until they slot into the back pockets of her jean shorts and she decides that they were definitely a better choice. Never before have his hands been palming her ass and she hadn’t considered what that would feel like but she _likes_ it. There are so many places to touch and explore and if they just have tonight there isn’t any chance she’s going to learn everything she wants to. He’s like an intricate tapestry, woven together with fire and sincerity. She wants to wrap herself up within him and never leave.

Tilting her body forward, Tessa wraps her arms around Scott’s neck and presses her body flush against his, eliminating the space between them. Tentative kissing quickly transcends into full-on making out. It’s a whole other kind of dance that they naturally fall into sync with. When Scott nibbles at her neck in the place where his face has been buried dozens, if not hundreds, of times over the years, her body goes simultaneously tense and weak, thrusting down against him. Scott groans and Tessa’s fingers wind through his hair and tug, making him even louder.

“Scott,” Tessa murmurs and he hums questioningly against her, lips not leaving her skin. “Take me to bed.”

His hands grip hard at her waist and Tessa thinks her eyes might genuinely roll back into her head at the overpowering sensation. She can feel Scott’s nose against her own and knows he’s trying to get her to look at him. Her eyes flutter open and are met with such unabashed lust and warmth and love that her breath gets caught in her throat. His lip twitches at the same time as his eyebrow, so expressive in the way he’s silently asking her if she’s sure, trying to signify confidence while there’s an underlying nervousness vibrating under the surface. Tessa places a sure kiss against his lips, her fingers tracing the skin of his cheek tenderly.

Scott tilts her hips and runs his palms down each of her thighs, getting her to wrap them around him. She sighs as his hands move back to her ass and is rewarded with an interested glint in her partner’s eyes. He lifts her as gracefully and carefully as he does so on the ice. She hasn’t been scared of him dropping her since she was twelve. He’s never let her fall. She only wishes her heart could be as entrusted with him as her body.

Tessa plants slow, soft kisses against the skin of his neck as he carries her but as her anticipation grows so does her veracity until she’s sucking on his pulse point so hard she’s sure there’ll be a mark. The word ‘ _mine_ ’ reverberates in her mind to the thumping beat of her heart. Maybe she’s not his first, but everybody is going to see her claim on him for days to come even if they don’t know it’s from her. Scott groans and drops her onto his bed and Tessa doesn’t know whether her nerves are buzzing in excitement or with a need to flee. One second she’s sure this is the most perfect idea and the next it’s definitely the worst.

Scott’s knees fall to the bed beside her and his hands rest flat on the mattress, muscles taught as his breaths come out ragged, almost panting.

“I’m not that heavy, am I?” Tessa teases, but it’s a recurring worry that is ingrained from a young age into every female skater she’s ever known.

“No, ah,” Scott stumbles over the words. “No, you’re just...very surprising.” His eyes flick up to meet hers and they’re so dark, almost black, that Tessa can’t control her small gasp. He’s not suffering from exertion. He’s turned on. _By her_.

Tessa wraps her hand around his bicep, taking a moment to appreciate his muscles that seem to be becoming more wonderfully defined by the day, and tugs him towards her so that she’s under him. “In what way?”

Scott coughs and then grins. “I don’t know if you know this, but you project a certain ‘good girl’ image.”

She rolls her eyes with a small smile. “And good girls don’t do this?” Tessa sinks a hand into his hair and pulls him down towards her. She plants a firm kiss to his lips before licking across the bottom one. Her teeth close around his lip, pulling slightly, and Tessa can feel the surprised moan bubbling up in his chest before it escapes his mouth. She may be new at this but she’s a fast learner, she’s been picking up choreography in a matter of minutes practically since she knew how to walk. She observes, she pays attention, she _notices_. Tessa grabs his head firmly in her hands and kisses him fiercely. It’s control like nothing she’s ever felt before and it makes her light-headed.

When the kiss finally has to end, both of them needing to breathe, Scott’s forehead falls to her neck, harsh breaths puffing out against her chest. “Good girls definitely don’t do that.” Tessa giggles and twists her fingers through his hair again.

“Maybe I’m not one then.”

“Mm, I should’ve been prepared. Especially after last night.” Tessa makes a questioning noise. “You all but told me you get off thinking about me, T.”

She blushes, heat flaming across her cheeks and neck until she’s sure Scott can feel the way her temperature has increased. “Oh.”

Scott lifts his head to look at her, sensing the change, and even though she’s still completely clothed, Tessa feels naked below him. “That’s a good thing, y’know? Talking makes it better.” He has the gall to wink at her and Tessa swats him on the shoulder.

He gives her a gentle kiss on her warm cheek and then another to her lips and she can sense the tension reducing in her shoulders that had built up from anxiety. It’s Scott. She can do this with Scott.

He wraps his hands tightly around her waist again and she tries to hold in her gasp but it’s falling from her mouth anyway. “So you like that,” he says to himself smugly. He keeps his hands there but lets his thumbs move higher to caress her ribs and Tessa squirms below him. “Mmm, okay.” His hands slowly begin to move higher until they catch on the fabric of her bra under her top and their eyes lock together.

Tessa nods tentatively. Scott’s smile this time isn’t smug, just soft reverence. No matter how cocky he can get, she knows this boy. Knows his soul. Knows his carefulness. She knows he’s going to look after her, just like he promised to. Back arching off the bed, Scott pulls her top up over her head. She expects him to do something after that, but all he seems capable of is staring.

“Are you, uh… okay?” she asks, nervousness crawling up her spine until it sits at the base of her neck. Maybe he thinks this was a mistake, maybe he’s just not attracted to her enough to go through with this, maybe-

“Wow. How long have you been hiding away red lingerie, T?” It’s curious if a little salacious in tone and Tessa rolls her eyes to mask her insecurity.

She blinks up at him slowly. “Long enough.”

He keeps running his fingers back and forth against the red lace in quiet consideration. “You do know…” Scott trails off with a small exhale as his eyes come back to her face.

Tessa squirms uncomfortably and averts her gaze. Scott, immediately sensing her discomfort, wraps a strong hand around her neck and jaw, bringing her eyes back to him. His expression morphs from one of thoughtfulness to concern. For all her bravado about being a woman and independent, she still feels a little like a girl playing dress up for a boy that will never be able to let himself love her the way she wants him to.

“You’re gorgeous in everything,” he starts simply, “but if you did this because you think someone needs it to find you attractive...”

“I want to be desirable,” she admits, unshed tears emerging like a watery film over her eyes.

“You already are,” he urges before pressing his lips to hers. His fingers rub gently at the nape of her neck and Tessa feels some of the tension start to slip away. She’s amazed by the way a simple kiss from him can melt her worries and fears. She’s starting to think he might have magical powers. Or maybe her body is just so attuned to his that anything he does makes her sing.

“You’re good at that,” she murmurs against his mouth.

“Mm?”

“Kissing. You’re a good kisser.” Scott said talking was good, so talking is what she’ll do.

He grins proudly. “I’ve had some practice. You, Tessa Virtue, like always, are a goddamn natural.” She laughs, pride swelling in her chest at the compliment, her ego appropriately stroked. He lays a litany of quick kisses across her face in an attempt to cheer her up and it works, light giggles falling from her mouth and dispersing into the air of his bedroom.

“I want this,” Tessa whispers when her laughter dies down. “I want you.” A part of her inside is screaming, telling her she’s blurring the lines and leaving herself open and raw to be utterly destroyed by him. But she does _want_ him. She’s always gonna want him. She can’t pretend about that.

Scott smiles in a way that’s so tender Tessa thinks— _hopes_ — she’s the first person to ever see it. He kisses her differently then— like he wants to memorize every moment of it. His hands cup her body, running down her torso, her abdomen, her hips, her ass, her thighs. When he gets to her knees, he taps them once and she instinctively wraps them around his hips, feeling his hardness vaguely press against her through layers of clothes and underwear. He really does want her too.

Snaking her hands under the hem of his t-shirt, Tessa traces her fingers across the smooth plain of his back, rucking up the material as she goes. He follows her cue and leans back to shuck it over his head and Tessa can’t resist running her fingertips along his abdomen and his defined muscles. Scott tenses and huffs out a short laugh like she’s tickling him. It sends a warm wave through her heart, rippling like the ocean lapping at her toes.

Scott leans down on top of her again and part of her really wants them to be doing this with even fewer clothes but another— stronger— part of her wants to relish every second of this night. He takes his time, a focus to his actions that seems planned and measured, as though he wants to learn her like he studies the intricacies of their compulsories. The way he tries different pressure or alternate methods of kissing and sucking and occasionally nipping or scraping his teeth. The way he smiles against her skin or pauses to consider her reactions— whether she gasps or moans or grips him so hard she’s sure her nails are going to leave indentations on him like a brand.

Finally— _finally_ — he moves his hands to the top of her shorts, allowing one finger to slip beneath the waistband and skitter across her skin like one turns the key in the ignition, kick-starting the journey she really wants to take. “Ready?” he asks against her ear before planting an affectionate kiss to her hair.

“Yes.” Tessa needs to be decisive. She wants Scott to know she wants this. Completely. Irrevocably. She’s all in.

Her legs fall back to the bed as Scott starts to slide the denim away, Tessa’s hips shimmying in assistance. She pushes away the insecure part of herself that worries about how she looks. This is Scott. Not a coach. Not a competitor. It’s the unknown within the safest place she can possibly be. With the boy who’s been her best friend since she was seven, give or take a couple of years of communication issues. He follows the motion and sinks down the bed, placing a kiss to her stomach on the way. Tessa’s eyes fall shut as he undresses her, letting fate run its course.

When Scott tugs her jeans off of her feet and discards them to the floor, he taps two fingers against her ankle. “Still with me?”

Tessa’s eyes flutter open and stare up at the ceiling. She exhales and simply says, “Always.”

Scott hovers over her. “Look at me.”

Her eyes meet his just in time for his eyebrow to raise and his hands to take a firm grip on either of her thighs. They sweep upwards to toy with the lace of her red panties, gently tugging them down her legs until she feels so open and bare in front of him it makes her want to dive under the covers and never come out. He shushes her gently. It’s not that she’s making any noise, but Scott can tell when she’s thinking too hard and analyzing too much.

Scott rubs his warm hands affectionately across her thighs and parts them so easily it makes her lungs burn with a sharp inhale. Anxious anticipation twists and turns around her organs until she’s vibrating with nervous energy. Scott sinks down in the gap between her legs, situating himself comfortably like he’s settling in for quite a while.

Tessa’s eyes widen. “Are you—?”

“You bet your cute little ass I am,” he affirms with a wink. He reaches up and grabs the pillow beside her, nudging her hips up so he can slide it underneath.

Scott’s hands rub teasingly at the skin either side of her core, warming her up like he does his hands when they get too cold on the ice. In a similar fashion, he blows against her and a shiver runs down her spine. Scott chuckles gently.

“Don’t get smug,” she berates.

He sinks a finger between her folds, lightly running it across her clit and down to her entrance, enjoying the wetness he obviously finds there if his satisfied look is anything to go by. “Not smug. I have no reason to be smug.” The tip of his finger broaches her entrance so briefly she doesn’t even get a chance to inhale before he’s gone again. “Yet.”

Scott leans down with such determination and presses the flat of his tongue to her, taking a long lick from her opening all the way up to her clit. Tessa doesn’t intend to whimper and slide a hand into his hair, but she can’t help herself.

“You taste incredible,” he murmurs against her.

Tessa’s face flames hot and she slaps her other hand over her eyes, shaking her head with an embarrassed groan.

Scott laughs softly at her animated reaction and she can feel the vibration all the way down to her core, making her squirm. She ends up giving him a light kick to his flank.

She can feel him back away a little and he runs a comforting hand across the tender skin of her inner thigh. “Too much?”

“If a week ago someone had said my partner’s tongue would be _there_ and he would be commenting on how I _taste_ , I would’ve slapped them.” She has to focus her attention on his hand on her skin rather than the fact that her lower half is so on display.

“No, you wouldn’t.” Scott reaches for the hand not covering her face and intertwines their fingers. It’s familiar enough to ease her embarrassment. “You would’ve barely concealed a sneer and stormed off while plotting a way to destroy their life.”

Tessa frowns, pulling her hand away in order to flick him harmlessly in the forehead. “Stop knowing me better than I know myself.”

Scott smirks. “You don’t want me to do that.”

“Oh yeah?” she challenges, closing her legs and folding them to the side away from him.

“Yep.” The ‘P’ pops suggestively and he grabs her ankle, pulling her legs back down and apart again with confidence. Tessa feels herself get wetter at the way he controls her body, putting her where he wants her.

And then he’s dipped his head again, his mouth working at her like it’s his job. She bites down on her lip hard at the unfamiliar sensation and how it makes her feel like a live wire, exposed and raw. She thinks to herself that his performance review will be quite favourable and then suddenly she can’t stop giggling.

He sighs against her in exasperation. “This is no laughing matter, Virtch.”

“Sorry. I’m sorry,” she chuckles, brushing his hair back from his forehead sweetly while he gives her a petulant frown. Tessa’s just starting to berate herself for killing the mood when Scott takes her hand in his, presses a gentle kiss to her palm and then pushes it between her legs. Her eyes widen.

“Show me what you like, and I’ll follow your lead,” he murmurs. Tessa blinks at him, frozen for a few seconds before she nods minutely.

Tessa slides her middle finger between her folds, letting the expanse of it rub against her clit and lower, spreading the increasing wetness around. She keeps up a steady, albeit slow, rhythm, crooking her finger on the upward stroke to press more firmly against the most sensitive spot. She can feel her eyes falling shut heavily, her back arching and breath becoming shallower.

“Just like that, T,” his husky voice urges and she thinks he sounds a little bit breathless, almost hypnotized. Scott starts placing gentle, sweet kisses against the skin of her thighs while she touches herself. When he nips at her flesh with his teeth, Tessa’s breath hitches into a gasp and she can feel the wetness leaking from her more substantially.

“Scott—“ and god her voice sounds wrecked, hungry and wanton in a way she’s never heard herself before. This is what makes it different from quiet nights alone in her room. Tessa reaches her other hand out towards him and he takes it so readily and easily just like every time they’re out on the ice together. Sure and stable. A constant.

Her eyes flutter open and connect with his and before Tessa can second guess herself she guides Scott’s hand to his own mouth, pushing two of his fingers past his lips. His eyebrow cocks teasingly and she can see his tongue sliding around his own digits. When they pop out of his mouth, Tessa can’t help the whimper that falls from her own lips as her hips move in anticipation.

Scott knows exactly where she wants him without her even having to tell him and he slides both of his fingers inside her opening confidently. She gasps, feeling beads of sweat slip down her forehead. Knowing it’s his fingers, his saliva, just him inside her makes her instinctively clench. As her speed increases on her clit, her finger moving with such ease with how wet she is, Scott starts thrusting his fingers into her at the same pace and rhythm dutifully.

Choked off gasps and whimpers erupt from her throat as they get her off in tandem. Tessa can hear how wet she is and if she wasn’t careening towards the precipice of the best orgasm of her life she might be shy. All she can feel is pleasure.

As her back arches again, her leg spasms to curl up behind Scott’s back, heel digging into him and dragging him closer towards her.

“Sc-Scott, I—“

He quickly pushes her hand away, intertwining their fingers even though hers are covered in the evidence of her arousal. And wraps his lips around her clit, sucking at her before lapping his tongue in the same path and pattern that her fingers were taking before. Tessa moans so loudly she’s suddenly relieved beyond belief that he kicked his roommate out before she came over. His fingers crook upwards inside her while his mouth works over her clit until she’s falling apart around him with such force that her vision goes white and she can’t feel her legs.

When she finally comes down from the high, Scott’s slid his fingers free of her but is still lapping gently at her like he’s a cat and she’s a saucer of milk. Her hand, the one that’s not still intertwined with his and starting to cramp with how hard she was squeezing, flies down to the back of his head.

“You’re going to kill me,” she mutters, hips and abs still twitching with aftershocks. “Oh, god.”

“Just Scott is fine,” he teases, grinning from ear to ear as he looks up at her. It’s like she can see the universe reflected in his eyes— as if they hold secrets that could change the fabric of her being.

“St-stop for a second,” she pleads when he tries to lower his head once more.

“I wanna make you come again.” He looks so determined. His face resembles that of a good training week where they go over and over the steps seamlessly but he still wants to go again because it feels so good and they can always be better. If he applies that same level of commitment to her body, she won’t survive.

“Soon, just— come up here. I need a moment. And I wanna—“

He’s already placing his hands down on the mattress either side of her body and prowling towards her. “You wanna?” His voice is so velvety and smooth. Sexy. Enticing and just equally hilarious in the way that only he can pull off.

“I wanna kiss you,” Tessa explains, dragging him down to her. She thought the concept of kissing him when he tastes like her would be gross, but she truly, honestly, irrevocably likes it. She licks into his mouth, rubs her tongue across the inside of his bottom lip before moving up and sucking on the top one. He moans gently like everything she does is just a little bit surprising.

When they finally pull away, Scott whispers, “I wanna do more than kiss you.” And it’s not his sexy voice anymore. It’s honest and raw, and _god_ , she needs him so badly.

“You can.”

Scott brushes her slightly sweaty hair back from her face. “Tell me it won’t change things.”

Tessa tries not to let her smile look sad. “We can’t be naive enough to think that it won’t.” Her eyes flicker down to his lips and then back to his eyes. “It already has.”

He sighs in a way Tessa could only describe as mournful. “But it won’t...ruin things?”

She can’t resist reaching up to rub her finger along his nose. She loves his nose. “No. Even if it’s terrible—” Scott scrunches up his face and shakes his head in denial. Tessa grins. “Even if it is, I’ll still love you just the same.” And that’s the problem really, isn’t it? She’s been hopelessly in love with this boy since she was six or seven years old. The only time her heart was more broken than when he and his friend called to break up with her when she was eight was when they lost out on their chance to go to Turin. The only thing she loves more in this world than Scott is skating with him.

“Me too.” And it’s sweet and exactly what she wants to hear. She can pretend that he loves her like she wants him to, for just a little while. Especially for this.

“Scott?”

“Mhm?”

She wraps her hand around his jaw and drags him down until his nose brushes against hers, her lips close enough to touch his as she speaks. “Scott, I want to—“ The words get caught in her throat along with her bravery.

“—Fuck. You want to _fuck_.”

Her shoulder lifts and her head tilts in a half-hearted shrug. “Yeah.”

“Say it,” he urges, pressing his lips to her cheek and then murmuring in her ear. “It’ll feel good to say it.”

Tessa swallows hard and feels her cheeks heating up. “I want to fuck.”

“Again.”

“Scott, shut up and fuck me, already,” her voice assured as the determination to throw him for a loop wins out against self-doubt.

A shocked laugh bursts out of him. “It’s really weird hearing you say that,” he responds with a wry smile.

“Good weird?” Her fingers rub at the arch of his ear, desperate to keep moving and maintain their connection.

“Hot weird. Which is good weird.” Tessa giggles, pressing her lips against his lightly. He sinks into the kiss, tender but precise in his efforts. She lifts her legs up to bracket his body, sliding her feet along his hips until they’re buried in the waistband of his jeans. Tessa pushes, feeling the material give and start to slide down his ass. Scott breaks away from her lips to murmur, “If you want me naked all you have to do is ask.”

“Just moving things along,” she smiles contentedly. “I’d rather you didn’t have pants on for this.”

“Then pantless I shall be,” Scott jokes, wiggling his eyebrows and drawing another laugh from her chest.

As Scott gets naked, Tessa takes the opportunity to do the same, too nervous to simply sit back and watch him uncover himself to her. She sits up and slides her hands to her back, feeling the lace of her bra as she goes. She deftly undoes the hooks, sliding the garment down her arms gently before discarding it to the pile of clothes on the floor beside the bed.

When she looks up, Scott is looking at her with a calmful reverence that makes her breath catch in her throat. She doesn’t just feel naked. She feels stripped bare, like no matter how much she tries to hide it, he’s going to know when this happens that she loves him too much, that the sighs in her lungs are for him, that the goosebumps on her flesh are searching for his touch. This is, without a doubt, the point of no return.

She lets her eyes scan his bare chest, torso and abs before they come to rest on his crotch. He’s hard and arching towards her. Tessa’s teeth close over her bottom lip as she runs her tongue along the inside. Saliva pools.

When her gaze flicks back up to his face he looks intense, eyes dark as he watches her watch him. There’s a hunger encapsulating his entire being. A rawness and lust that she never thought would be directed towards her. The atmosphere between them feels explosive.

“Please do some—“ but Tessa can’t even finish her plea before Scott is moving into action. Diving towards her and wrapping his strong hand around the back of her neck as he pulls her to his lips. Tessa’s own hand slides through his hair before sinking down to clutch at his back. She can feel the heat radiating off him.

Tessa is so distracted by his mouth that she doesn’t notice his hand until he slides two fingers back inside her quickly, the wetness from before rebounding full-force as she moans and throws her head back. Scott’s mouth moves to the column of her throat, sucking at her skin with vehemence. Tessa keens, head feeling cloudy with desire. She can hear his other hand scrabbling in the nightstand and mentally high-fives his multi-tasking skills.

“Yes yes yes,” Tessa repeats over and over. She can feel Scott’s smile against her skin. Her hand sinks back to his hair, pulling until he’s looking at her again, cheekiness and pride dancing behind his eyes. His fingers slip free of her entrance and slide upwards, brushing against her clit lightly before he stops touching her. A gasp of pleasure shudders through her body.

She can’t help but watch as he slides the condom on, but any of her previous anxieties have long since fallen away in favour of a primal need and want to have him inside her. He’s barely finished before she’s hooking her leg around him again, heel digging into his ass as she tries to drag him towards her.

As Scott’s body falls into her, his hand comes up to her face, thumb brushing against her lips with so much care that her heart cracks. His touch skitters over her jaw and collarbone before coming to rest against her heart. Tessa’s sure he can feel the fast thumping beneath. “Don’t rush. Slow,” he says simply.

Tessa draws a deep breath, closing her eyes as she tries to calm herself. It’s on the slow exhale that she feels Scott start to slide inside her and she has to focus harder than she ever has in her life not to choke on the oxygen escaping her lungs. He’s roughly the size she expected him to be from practice sessions that turned too hot for an adolescent boy to handle quite yet, pressed against her briefly until he had to excuse himself. But feeling him inside her, he feels so much bigger than she thought he would. It’s not bad, just new and somewhat uncomfortable.

When his hips pause, coming to rest against her own, she feels more than hears him whispering her name. It sounds like a prayer. Her eyes flutter open to see him hovering above her, a mixture of wonder and worry covering his face while he waits for her.

Tessa’s body naturally squirms against the intrusion, hips moving minutely up into Scott’s. A small smile sweeps across her lips and she feels him relax a little bit.

She rubs her thumb across the corner of his eye. “Thank you.”

An amused frown emerges on his brow. “For what?”

Pulling him down so his forehead rests against her own, she murmurs, “For giving me what I need.”

He pulls out halfway and sinks back in again, the first move resembling an actual thrust, and she hums in satisfaction at the feel of him stroking against her walls. Scott brings a hand to her hip, holding her steady as he thrusts again, deeper this time. His touch skips along her thigh, all the way down to her knee before he circles his finger around the back of it. Tessa’s breath hitches at the oversensitive spot, but she doesn’t get a chance to think about it because Scott’s pushing her folded leg up towards her head.

Tessa moans, feeling open and exposed as he pushes her leg down into the bed, the angle making her wetter and hotter as he slides inside of her at an increased tempo. She thinks her eyes actually roll back into her head.

“Good?” he pants.

A small chuckle reverberates through Tessa at the absurdity of the question. “Uh-huh,” she answers breathily. He keeps thrusting as his body folds over hers, pinching a nipple before sliding his hot, wet mouth over it. She moans, abdominal muscles clenching and releasing at the new sensation. It pushes her hips into one of his thrusts and for a brief moment he’s the deepest he’s ever been and she feels the cliche thought of not knowing where he ends and she begins coursing through her mind. Scott groans against her skin, teeth catching against the peak of her nipple and she can’t help the expletives that fall from her lips.

His hand leaves her knee, searching for her own and he intertwines their fingers together, their grasp so tight she swears she can almost feel their bones scraping together. He moves her hand back to her knee, making sure she keeps her folded leg high and close. Scott gives her other nipple a pinch. He has just the right level of pressure to send an electric shock through her system. A puff of air pushes its way through her lips that must spur him on because then he twists her nipple a few degrees back and forth like he’s picking a lock, and there’s no click of a door opening but he’s certainly unlocked something animalistic in her.

He trails a hand down to her ass, hitching her closer to his body and allowing his cock to sink deeper and harder inside her. Tessa can sense him everywhere, all over her, and it’s the most magnificent release of her inhibitions. This is her partner. He knows her better than anyone. And that apparently includes how to get her off.

Wrapping his now-free hand around her rib cage, she’s completely at his mercy. His pubic bone grinds against her clit at the peak of every thrust, sending her higher and higher towards ecstasy. The sounds out of her mouth are constant and uncontrolled. A combination of gasps, swearing and moans of his name.

“Close?”

His pace begins to speed up, power becoming unconstrained. He doesn’t need to ask, he already knows. Their bodies know each other too well even if this is the first time they’ve done this. Tessa knows the strength behind his movements is going to leave her sore tomorrow but she knows she’ll relish every moment, every twinge will remind of how good she feels right now.

Tessa releases her leg and runs both of her hands from Scott’s shoulders down to his biceps, letting her nails scratch slightly at the taut skin and muscles. He lets go of her ass and brings his hand to the mattress beside her for purchase, leaning down towards her lips. She’s not sure if it really counts as a kiss or just panting into one another’s mouths, sounds of pleasure uncontrolled and unabashed. One of her hands slides up into Scott’s hair, pulling at the strands as he leans down, kisses her cheek and then says one word, demandingly, into her ear.

“Come.”

Her whole body tenses and convulses, clenching down around his cock. “Scott, Scott, Scott…” the only word capable of escaping her mouth. There’s nothing but him and the way he makes her feel. She can hear him groan as he buries his face in her neck, licking and sucking gently at the skin there and he thrusts into her a few more times until he comes too. It keeps the aftershocks skittering through her body until she’s sure she’s whimpering.

Scott gives her neck one more lick before slowly rolling off of her to the side, holding her hip tenderly as he slips out of her. Tessa winces slightly and he makes a small noise of apology. “Okay?”

She pauses, blinking as she tries to get her brain to function again. “...Yes?”

“You don’t sound very sure,” he answers, worry seeping into his voice as he shuffles against the sheets. He frowns. “I’m missing a pillow.”

“Yeah, it’s under me.”

“Oh, right,” Scott says, an unspoken ‘Duh’ in his tone. He reaches under her and yanks the pillow causing her to squeak and swat at his arm.

Tessa’s eyes widen. “You’re not really going to…?” She was on that when she…

“In fact, I am.” He looks so amused. “I’m gonna flip it.”

Her stomach swoops hotly with the thought but her nose still automatically scrunches up in disgust. “Scott, that’s gross.”

“Nothing gross about falling asleep surrounded by the smell of you, T. Especially if you won’t be here when I wake up in the morning.” There’s some undercurrent of meaning in there. Some pinched bitterness over her leaving at some point in the next couple of hours. Maybe he’s a spooner. She knows how tactile he is and that probably translates to the bedroom too. But she can’t stay the night. There are other skaters that live around here, if they see her doing the proverbial ‘walk of shame’, it’ll probably get back to Marina by lunchtime.

She can feel him watching her as she stares up at the ceiling above. A curiosity marking the atmosphere over the unfinished topic from before about whether she’s okay or not. Tessa sighs.

“You know when you’re looking at a cake. And you think, ‘I’ll just have a slice, it won’t hurt. I deserve a slice of cake.’ But then the cake is still there afterwards and you know now how good it tastes. Even if it won’t taste as good by the second or third slice because it’s gonna make you feel ill in the end. And you really shouldn’t have given into temptation in the first place because if you never knew how good the cake was it wouldn’t be making you sick now as you contemplate eating the whole damn thing?”

Scott stares at her straight-faced for a second before bursting into laughter so raucous he almost rolls right off the bed. Tessa frowns pensively but she can’t help smiling when his laugh is so boyish and cute. When he’s still laughing twenty seconds later she huffs and plants her hand over his mouth. Although the laughter is muffled, slowly drawing to an end, she can still see his grin all the way up to his eyes making them crinkle adorably. He wraps his fingers around her wrist, every pressure point of his touch against her skin making her think of more things she wants him to do to her. And for her to do to him. And for them to do together.

He presses a chaste kiss to her palm before removing it. “Thanks.”

“Hmm?”

He places another quick kiss to her shoulder affectionately. “I’m glad the cake was good for you.”

Tessa shakes her head. “Pretty sure I said the cake was so good it’s _bad_.” She clenches her thighs together and blinks slowly. “But sure.”

“You can always come back to the cake later.” Scott exhales contentedly as he closes his eyes, his body relaxing into the mattress as lethargy overtakes him.. “You don’t have to eat it all at once.”

She twists the sheet between her fingertips nervously. “No expiration date on this cake?”

“T, I don’t have the energy to talk cake metaphors with you right now. You kinda rocked my world.” His voice gets more quiet and drowsy. “And it’s making me hungry.”

It’s only a few more seconds before his breathing evens out as he drifts off. Tessa can’t sleep though. Her body is buzzing, electrified by the evening’s... _activities_. She slides out of bed, careful not to wake her worn-out partner and squints around the room, unable to locate all of her discarded clothes. She steps on her red underwear, scooping them up and slipping them on. One of Scott’s jerseys, the _London Knights_ one he wore for Nationals when they did _Everybody Dance Now_ , lies over the back of a chair and Tessa picks it up and slides it over her head.

Tiptoeing to the bathroom, Tessa is struck by her reflection. Hair a tangled mess, red splotches on her neck, a handprint still visible on her thigh. She’s so _fucked_. Properly fucked and debauched and Scott is imprinted all over her. The marks will fade, probably as soon as tomorrow, but the memories of what she did to get them won’t. _‘You rocked my world_.’ Tessa has to bring a hand up to her mouth to stifle her giggles. She’s never been drunk. Always too responsible to have more than a sip here or there at the few parties she’s dared to attend. But she thinks she might be drunk on sex. Endorphins firing through her body, a warm settled glow sweeping through all of her limbs.

After freshening herself up Tessa wanders back through to the living room. She stalls in front of the freezer, finding a pot of ice cream that she knows better than to indulge in but she figures with all the damage done tonight a little more won’t make a difference.

When Scott paddles out of the bedroom later, a little bleary-eyed but relaxed— _sated_ — he smiles and sits behind her on the floor, curling around her like a koala. _The Notebook_ plays out in front of them and Scott murmurs, “Just in time for the best part.”, as Noah tells Allie he wrote to her every day for a year and she jumps into his arms as they kiss passionately in the rain.

Tessa’s heart beats faster as the scene continues, the characters passionately undressing before finally consummating their relationship after so long. So many hardships, so many obstacles, and finally they can just _be_.

“We were better.”

Tessa barks out a laugh, raising a spoon of ice cream to his lips like a reward. “They’re actors.”

Scott shrugs, swallowing the ice cream readily. “Yeah, but the chemistry was real. They got together in real life.”

Tessa’s heart skips a traitorous beat. “Mm.”

“You don’t think we’re that good?” His fingers sneak under the jersey and skitter across the bare skin of her stomach in a way that he knows is distracting.

She leans back into him, resting her head on his shoulder. “Well, you know what they say: Practice makes perfect.”

“Yeah. Sure does.” He hums into her and presses a chaste kiss to her neck. “I can’t wait to see what you have planned for _Valse Triste_.”

Tessa swallows another bite of ice cream and watches the romantic story play out before her on the screen. “I’m actually thinking of dying my hair red.”

Scott laughs lowly into her ear before planting another kiss below it.

Maybe she can have her cake and eat it too.

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it this far...thank you! If you fancy it, please leave a comment here or you can find me over at virtuemoirxx on Tumblr. (Also, if you noticed there's a mystery left unanswered, that will hopefully come in a future installment! Yes, this does have the potential to be a series if I can get my act together to finish the other ones...)


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